Mt. Batur: Climbing An Active Volcano

On my recent trip to Bali, I decided that I was going to hike a active volcano at sunrise. I had seen friends and other travelers do it and the views just seemed incredible. I had spent endless hours researching the best ways to do it and what equipment (if any) was needed and hounding friends who had done the hike for advice.

Eventually, I just decided that the easiest way to figure out if I could actually climb the volcano was to just get off my ass and do it. For $27 USD  we signed up with our hostel just wanting to go and do it. We signed up for the shorter and more popular of the hikes, Mt. Batur. I was going with two active and very fit people and was really nervous about the slow pace that I KNEW I was going to be hiking at. I’m going to be honest, this was going to be the most physical activity that I had done in a LONG time. Since moving to Chiang Mai, I’ve gained a bit of weight and haven’t really done anything to get rid of the weight other than occasionally cutting out certain foods and eating less of this or that. I really wasn’t sure that I would be able to do this hike. I had heard of people pushing themselves to do things that their bodies weren’t actually capable of and the results weren’t always pretty. When I decided to do this, it was a little bit of a “screw you, my weight gain doesn’t define what I can and can not do” when in reality depending on what you’re doing it TOTALLY does and a little bit of “I really don’t know if this is even a thing, so lets just give it a go and see what happens at the end”

The morning (night?) of: 

We woke up at the butt crack of dawn (aka 1:25am) to get dressed and prepare for the hike. We ate a meager breakfast of some toast and juice before our driver picked us up. We spent the next hour plus listening to club jams while driving around the island in pitch blackness.

When we got to the base of the volcano, there were already tons of people there. I looked up in hopeless despair as our guide gave us our flashlights and beckoned us on our way.

I was already on a slow start as we started walking through the grass. Our guide wanted us to get a move on before the mobs started climbing making it harder for us to take breaks and rest. Every few minutes, Eka, our guide, would turn around to ask if I was okay. As we slowly started to begin our ascent, I fell more and more behind. Every so often they would call out and see if I was okay and wait until I reached them. The more this happened, the more pressure I would feel. I know they were waiting because that’s 1. what they had to do and 2. they were being nice. But every time it happened, I felt a surge of furry. I would angrily think “I don’t want to be pitied. I don’t want them to have to wait. I can do this on my own”. Then, covered in the darkness of the dead of the night, my eyes welled up with tears and I started crying. I felt so overwhelmed and humiliated. I thought “I can’t do this – This is fucking embarrassing” but I managed to wipe my tears away and trek on. Each time I caught up to my friends, I managed to pretend that I was okay and that we should just press on. Each time I did that, I felt my world getting smaller and smaller. Then I had trouble breathing. The pressure to not fail was too hard. The pressure to keep pressing on to catch up to my friends so they wouldn’t think anything was happening was too much. As soon as I saw them next, I broke.

I could hardly control my breathing. I couldn’t stop crying. I had no idea where these tears coming from and they just wouldn’t stop. While trying to control my breathing, I started inhaling my tears and choking on them. I felt fears and anxiety like I had never understood before. I was having a panic attack.

Note: I don’t use the words panic attack lightly. It’s the only explanation for what happened to me on the base of that mountain.

Looking back, it took some serious pep talk and hugs to calm me down. My mind was racing. I couldn’t believe I had just broken down like that. I felt even more humiliated that the guide who we were with had NO idea how to handle the situation. After some persuasion, I got my friends and guide to go on without me. This is something that I needed to do by myself, without anyone around to watch.

As I watched them leave, I felt heart slow down. My breathing became more steady. I hiked up my backpack and trudged on.

The middle (of the middle?) of the morning (night?):

After that episode, I felt calm and steady the higher I climbed. I could do this. I felt it in my bones. I would stop whenever I needed a small break, letting people pass me. I would tag along to the back of groups whenever I was ready to go, careful to (almost) always be the last one in a chunk of climbers.

Hours – literally – I heard the chatter of all the people who had past me.

I had reached the top. Almost.

I had reached the “sunrise point”.

There was almost a 30 minute hike to the ACTUAL top of the volcano.

I had made it this far. I hiked up my backpack and trudged on.

Some 70 minutes and some sand/ash in my shoes later I was here.

I HAD MADE IT TO THE FREAKING TOP.

What should have taken only two hours, had taken me three. BUT I HAD MADE IT.

I quickly found my friends on a bench and waited for the sun to rise. (I then learned that they had RUN, literally RUN, up the mountain and was instantly glad that I hadn’t kept them waiting that whole time. Sheesh)

Sunrise:

Y’all. The top of a mountain is COLD. But oh my lanta was it ever worth it.

Instantly, every ache and tear was gone and the only thing before was a ball of fire rising above another mountain before me. Freezing for the sake of a sunrise had never been more worth it.

The only thing scarier than the ascent, was the descent. With some mild trepidation, my friends and I started down the mountain, the sun illuminating gorgeousness before me. My muscles were achy and tired and were struggling to keep my body upright. Eka helped me down the first part of the mountain which was essentially a sand dune. He kept wanting me to run down because it would be easier – which would make sense if my muscles were actually in tact and didn’t run the risk of spontaneously quitting on me.

Morning: 

When we reached the “sunset point” we walked around the crater of the volcano. If you looked down closely, you would actually see the steam rising from THE LAVA THAT WAS CHILLING UNDER OUR FEET. Eka brought us down to a point where we could stick our hands in the steam. It was pretty damn cool.

Then we were off.

I let Eka lead my friends off to run down the mountain where I slowly trudged. The only problem was that because EVERYONE was coming down, I had to keep pace with the crowd and there was no where to take a break. At some point, we were led down a paved road instead of the rocks that we had climbed this morning.

My legs gave out three times on that flat pavement. HA. My body was done. Calling it quits – and I still had no idea how far I still had to go. Then out of nowhere, Eka comes riding up on a motorbike. In that moment he looked like my knight in shining armor coming to save me. I swear we drove for like 10 minutes before reaching our van. AT THAT POINT MY FRIENDS HAD ALREADY FINISHED, THE GUIDE FOUND A BIKE, AND THEN CAME TO GET ME. THEY WERE THAT FAST.

Thank goodness he grabbed me on that bike.

We quickly grabbed lunch and marveled the rest of the day at what we had all accomplished that morning. By the time we got back to the hostel in Ubud, nothing could keep us from the strong call of our beds.

Note: If you are a moderately active person, you can definitely handle this hike. I was probably one of the biggest people on the trail and by hell or high water I had made it. My experience is certainly an outlier to how most people would view this experience. If you’re in Bali, I definitely recommend doing this hike. It’s really something to be sitting at the peak of one active volcano while watching the sun rise over other active volcano.