I’m sorry I’m “too much” for you.

Hey, you! Reading this. Have you ever been told that you’re “too much”?

I just want to let you know that

You are NOT too much to your people.

You might be too much for some people. But dang man, those are NOT your people.

Man, this has been such a hard thing to remember these past few months years.

I know I can be needy.
I complain too much.
I’m too bossy.
I’m not smart enough.
I snore too loud
I act like a child and get too excited about stupid things.
I’m too blunt when the situation calls for tenderness.
I’m too sensitive
I cry too much
I’m too short
I’m too fat
I’m too weird
I’m too loud
I’m too…..much.

The list goes on and on.

Social media has been kind enough to continuously remind me, that to the people that love me, to my tribe?

There’s no. such. thing. as. too. much.

Living abroad and finding your tribe can be one of the hardest things. You’re only stuck with the people your work hires, and you’re continuously at the mercy of the expats who live in your city.

I know I’ve talked before about how happy I am to be living abroad, teaching math, yada yada… and most days that’s true. But others days, it feels fake.

You know those people who you might have gotten annoyed with in High School, but were still surrounded by tons of friends? They weren’t too much for their group. They might have been too much for you, but not to the people who cared about them.

You are exactly enough for your people.

Not everyone you meet is going to be your people. Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s them. Regardless, they aren’t for you.

Don’t diminish yourself to fit into someone else’s mold.

You are uniquely you because that is EXACTLY who you are supposed to be.
No more, No less.

And you know what? That list up above? Hands down the easiest part of this post to write. How many times I have been told a version of one of those things.

That I was too much.

I’ve spent hours trying to “fix” myself to be this person I didn’t recognize. It was exhausting. I would come home and instantly breathe deep. Within the four walls of my apartment, I could be anyone I wanted to be.

There have been so many times where I’ve come home hurt and upset because I knew I was being too much. It didn’t feel right, that I had to continuously monitor myself so that I could be around other people.

Sometimes I still do.

You’ll know when you find your people. There’s no formula for finding them (although wouldn’t that be nice). You’ll just know.

You’ll know because it’ll feel like you can finally breathe again. A invisible weight of having to hide yourself will be lifted. I think it’s similar to finding your forever person. When you know, you know.

Be Patient.

If you haven’t found a solid tribe yet, don’t loose heart. There are people out there for you. I mean, with 6 billion people walking around on this planet, the odds are pretty stacked in your favor.

Don’t diminish yourself while you wait for those people.

Keep doing you.

I love you,
I’m rooting for you,
I’m here for you,

xo,
Ari